When I think about self-care, the first few images that come to mind include face masks, scented candles and bath bombs. but sometimes when you’re vv sad, even the most basic hygiene routines can be hard to maintain.. Sometimes you feel unworthy of self-care, regardless of how much you may actually need it… I’ve been there. and I get it. I just wanted to share some of the things I do to help break out of a depression spiral.

1. shower meditation: if you’ve ever had trouble forcing yourself to get in the shower, I highly recommend using a shower meditation. Sometimes it helps to have a gentle, guiding voice telling you exactly what to do, while you are drowning in the ocean of your mind. “Step into the shower. Focus on the water on your skin. Massage your scalp.” For real.. it might sound weird, but mindful showering is fantastic. Water is a natural, renewing life-source and we really should be a lot more mindful and grateful of how we use it and what it does for us, anyway.

2. wash your face+brush your teeth: If showering seems impossible, splash some water on your face and brush your teeth. A bit of cool water on your face will help to wake you up a bit, and snap your mind into the present. Plus - it helps to decrease any puffiness and it will give a subtle glow to your cheeks.

3. change your clothes: I don’t even want to discuss how many days in a row i’ve worn the same leggings.. (“aT fiRsT tHeY’Re cONsTrIctiIve, bUt ThEn aFtEr A WhiLe, tHeY bEcOmE A ParT oF yOu...”) One of the quickest ways I reset my mind when my depression is active, is changing my damn clothes. Even if i’m just changing into a fresh pair of leggings, it always helps more than I think it will. Fresh underwear, clean denim, and a loose t-shirt is liiiiife when I am feeling bummed.

4. eat+drink: Anxiety and depression affect everyone differently, and personally, my nervousness often manifests through stomach problems. My default is nausea, and it becomes hard for me to force myself to eat when i’m really stressed. In addition to stomach pain, I have struggled with dysmorphia and disordered eating for the majority of my life. I am prone to lose my appetite altogether when my emotions are running low... I recommend keeping some pre-made fruit smoothies, packaged snacks and proteins on hand. and always keep a water bottle close-by. Especially when you’re sad. The least you can do for yourself is to stay hydrated while you’re crying off-and-on, and not eating enough.. just, trust me. Drink more water.

5. step outside: I have a pug and a preschooler that need fresh air at least a few times a week, and caring for them has been my saving grace through some really difficult times to be honest. Even just stepping outside my door and breathing in fresh air for a few minutes at a time has been enough to remind me that there is something to live for.. never underestimate the simple power of some vitamin D and a cool breeze.

6. text a friend: There have been some really dark times in my life, where I felt it impossible to reach out. My mind has convinced me of some pretty terrible things about some people that I really love, and some of my biggest regrets include avoiding those loved ones when I needed them the most. If you are fortunate enough to have even just one trusted friend or family member that you can talk to, don’t be scared to let them in. Sometimes all it takes is a quick text saying “I could really use a friend.” If you don’t have anyone you feel you can talk to privately, post something on social media somewhere. You have a network for a reason. “I could use some good vibes right now” is a simple way to reach out without revealing too much. Maybe all you need are some silly memes from your buddies to help get through a rough day.. you are loved, and you deserve attention.

7. color or journal: I’m a pretty big advocate of art therapy. I have been using art to express difficult emotions for as long as I can remember, and to this day - painting with my headphones on is the only time I feel truly connected to myself. You don’t have to consider yourself an artist to take advantage of art therapy, though. Scribbling with a pen on an old newspaper as hard as you can is a creative release. Coloring books, finger-painting, writing the word “fuck” over and over again on a post-it note... the point is just to get your hands moving, and distract yourself for a while.

8. comedic relief: Usually when the motivation is especially low, I find myself binging on trashy tv to distract myself.. depending on the day, I’ll either dive into murder documentaries, a random drama series, or some terrible 90’s sitcoms. but I always notice feeling worse after consuming certain genres of media. However, intentionally sitting down to a funny movie, eating junk snacks in my sweats and huggling with my family or stuffed animals really is the best medicine sometimes.

9. music: I have about 75 playlists on my spotify account; I make them for alll the different moods and genres and activities or tasks that I find myself doing. and it’s honestly one of the things that makes me happiest when i’m sad. I have one called “Happy Music” that I frequent when I need a pick-me-up, and I highly suggest the practice of keeping an ongoing playlist of your “happy music”, too. Loud headphones and dancing like a goon in my basement by myself is fucking CHURCH, friends.

10. cry: When all else fails, sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is LET THAT SHIT OUT. Allow yourself a good long cry, feel your feelings and then release them out of your eyeballs. Then, wash your face and dust your shoulders off.

You will get through this. Feelings are temporary—all of them. Happiness, sadness, rage, depression, excitement, fear, hope; and none of them define you. Let your pain move through you and be gentle with yourself.

xo.

self-care for (very) sad friends//10 tips for breaking out of a depression spiral

"…I’m not answering the phone, let it ring—" …Or, The One About mental health & the toxicity of social media.